I hope this shows up on the injury report...

If you haven't heard, USC had a rough landing in South Bend on Thursday evening. Apparently it was so scary that safety Taylor Mays was "screaming." But wait, it gets better: "Defensive end Lawrence Jackson said he was going to see the team trainer because a Popsicle stick pierced the inside of his mouth during the drop." I guess they don't teach you at USC that you probably shouldn't have sharp items in your mouth during a turbulent plane ride. In the paper it should read:

Probable-Lawrence Jackson (Popsicle Stick)

The only thing funnier than that would be a video on YouTube showing Taylor Mays.