Saturday, December 26, 2009


By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack STRAP

STRAP-NAC THE MAGNANIMOUS, the noted soothsayer from the Far East(ern part of the U.S.) is here to help you with your College Foot-BOWL PICKS. These BOWL PICKS were made many years ago when STRAP-NAC attended PSU and since then have been hermetically sealed in a Rolling Rock pony bottle from the 'Skellar which was then buried in Joe Paterno's backyard. No one knows these BOWL PICKS except STRAP-NAC who now in a MAGNANIMOUS gesture will share them with you. If you're a gambler, you can take these BOWL PICKS "to the bank". And when I say "to the bank" I mean if you bet using these PICKS, your bank account will mysteriously be reduced to zero, which will then bankrupt your bank, triggering Obama-nomics TARP money. And by TARP, I don't mean Troubled Assets Relief Program, but rather Totally Asinine Ridiculous Picks.

* Gator BOWL: Could Bobby Bowden's forced Retirement, after all he's done for the Seminoles program, get any worse? Yes--WVU Mountaineers 42 FSU 13.
* Capital One BOWL: Before this game, Bobby B's Buddy JoePa will tell the story of PSU beating LSU 16-9 in the Orange Bowl back in 1973 when Joe was only 47 & his current players' parents were kids. Then the Nittany Lions will go out and win by the identical 16-9 score.
* Sugar BOWL: "Gatorade" is what Florida gets from the officials and "screwed" is what Cincinnati gets from them (not to mention by Notre Dame) as the Gators squeak by 21-20.
* Rose BOWL: Ohio State 28 Oregon 27. Figuring the Buckeyes are due after (3) straight BOWL defeats. If I'm wrong, see TARP above.
* Fiesta BOWL: What can TCU & Boise St. possibly due to earn the respect of the doubters? Nothing now that the BCS in their infinite wisdom matched them against each other. I feel so bad for them that I'm not even going to PICK this game.
* Orange BOWL: Is this the year the Big 10 earns some BOWL respect? I'm going to scream "Hell Yea!" & the Hawkeye fans will loudly agree with me. Iowa 17 Georgia Tech 16.
* GMAC BOWL: I had years ago lost my shirt by taking Troy to win the Trojan War.
* BCS National Championship Game: Technically this isn't even a BOWL, but I'll MAGNANIMOUSLY PICK it anyway. The conventional wisdom is that #1 Alabama is the best team from the best conference, but I'm unconventionally predicting that the Longhorns will catch the Crimson Tide looking ahead to their game against Penn State in September 2010 & roll the tide 28-23.
And Remember, you heard it right here in the "Sports Fountainhead".

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