Pirates Improving!*

*Slowly.

Tonight, the Battlin Buccos defeated the playoff contending Diamondbacks 5-1 for their 68th win of the season. This ensures that they will finish with a better record than the 67-95 mark they have had each of the past two seasons. If they keep improving at this rate (assuming they lose their final 4), they will reach .500 by the year 2020 and be in playoff contention somewhere around the 2030-2040 range.

"So you're telling me there's a chance..."