Saturday, September 29, 2007

South Fucking Florida!

In 1996, the University of South Florida did not have a football team. They started the program in 1997 and joined Division I-FBS-A in 2001. As recently as 2005, they were one of PSU's scheduled cupcakes at the beginning of the season, and we were upset to only beat them by two touchdowns. In 2007, they are one of the best teams in the country. This was proven tonight when they beat the #5 ranked West Virginia Mountain Mama's 21-13 at the Buccaneers' stadium in Tampa. Which brings up the first curious question about South Florida:

Why are they located in Tampa? Tampa appears to be more in Central Florida than South. But then again, Central Florida was already taken, so I guess they just hoped no one would notice. But still, that's kinda like having 11 teams in the Big Ten. Oh wait...

But seriously, how can you explain the rise of this team? They have gone from being a catchy sign at a basketball game (USF Football: undefeated) and ten years later, literally having a chance to go undefeated in the Big East, and maybe even crash the BCS? I thought about this a lot this Friday evening (because that's what an awesome life I have), and there can be only one explanation:

Once upon a time, South Florida was recruiting a very talented, but dumb player. After some courtship, they came to realize that the recruit thought he was being recruited by Southern Cal. Rather than tell him the truth, they didn't deny it because that obviously made them look better. So they employed a "don't ask dont tell" policy about whether they were USC or not, and it turned out a lot of talented players heard the words "South warm state" and were sold. Deceitful bastards.

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